Welded Apart
by typing-pictures
Summary: Who was this person who stared back? I recognized not the look in her eyes or the scratches in her soul. I had to wonder; If this was in fact a mirror, then was this my empty eyes, my sallow structure, and my lost expression that confronted me? A/H OOC
1. Welded Apart, edited

_**Reedited version :D**_

**Note is does say TRAGEDY!**

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up to my phone ringing next to my head. I groaned as I rolled over to reach for it, _Alice _flashed across my caller id.

"Hullo?" I groaned, my voice full of sleep.

"Edward! Oh my God, please tell me you've heard from Bella?!"

"No, I haven't seen or heard from her in about a week."

It was actually surprising, no matter how many times I had told Bella I was done, she was always bugging me to get back together with her. It seems she had finally gotten the message, either that or she was planning something extra ridiculous. Knowing Bella, it was probably the latter.

"Edward, she was supposed to come over last night and she didn't. Her house phone is off the hook, her cell is off. I went to her apartment but it's all locked up. You still have a key, right?"

"Yeah."

"Can you go to the apartment and check if she's there? I'm really worried, Bella _never_ backs out of our weekly night together and especially not without calling. _Please_ go check, I have a bad feeling." She sobbed over the phone.

"Ok, Alice. Calm down, I'll go check on her." I had never seen my sister so upset before.

I hung up the phone and rolled out of bed. I groaned again as I looked at the clock. _3am, gee thanks Alice._

I went outside and ran to my car. As soon as I was in, I blasted the heat- it was freezing outside.

20 minutes later I pulled up to the familiar apartment complex, feeling a little pang at the memories she and I shared here as I walked up the steps. I hadn't been back here since I had moved out and just the familiar atmosphere made the wound in my heart ache.

I finally reached her door, and knocked. I couldn't call her name because it was so late and the neighbors wouldn't be too pleased.

When she didn't answer, I pulled out my key and inserted it into the lock. I opened the door, "Bella?" I called, quietly, into the apartment. It looked like crap in here, everything was so messy and dark- there were clothes on the floor, food on the tables, dishes in the sink- so very un-Bella.

I walked through the apartment looking for Bella and also taking note of how much it really hurt to be in here. Like the wound was brand new, I tried to block out the memory of her ignoring my pleas, of her walking out the door. I smiled as I noted the old picture of Bella and me when we were 14. We were side by side, sticking our tongue out at the camera. Not a care in the world, how things had changed.

With another sigh, I called out her name again. "Bella?"

It was then that I noticed a light shining from underneath the bathroom door. I walked over and opened the door.

When I walked in, I froze.

BPOV _earlier that evening_

I had put a lot of thought into this. It wasn't something I wanted to do, it was something I _had_ to do. His words flashed through my head; _"We're over, Bella. This time your mistake was unfixable. It's time to move on, I can be your friend but not you lover, not your boyfriend, and nothing more… not anymore." _I let out a sob. I had tried to fix it, over and over again. But I had just done too much damage. The pain I caused him was irrevocable and he couldn't forgive me, not this time.

It was so easy to see my flaws now that it was all coming to an end. I did it all wrong from the start. From that first mistake, forward. I continually hurt him, until he couldn't take it. Then, when I realized what I had done, he had moved on. Found someone better then me, someone better for him- someone who couldn't cause the pain that I did.

I didn't hate Tanya, despite how I made it seem. I was just desperate, I would have done anything to get him back. But none of it would work, I had simply messed up one too many times and now I had to face the consequences.

I tried not to drip tears as I wrote each of my letters; one for all of my family- my mom and dad, one for Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, one for Alice, and one for Edward. But little blurs of tears ended up smearing some of the ink, anyway. After each letter was finished, I put it into a little white envelope and wrote the name of the owner on the outside of it.

There was nothing left to do now; I had taken care of it all. I had called all of my utilities and my landlord yesterday and had everything canceled. I walked into the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. I slowly undressed myself and set the letters on the bathroom counter. I took one last look at a picture I had hanging on the wall; it was from last summer at a bbq, it was a picture of me, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. We were all standing around this sand castle we had taken 4 hours to build. Everyone smiling and carefree, unaware that it would all change a year later.

I turned and looked at my reflection in the mirror, who was this person who stared back? I recognized not the look in her eyes or the scratches in her soul. I couldn't help but ponder; if this was in fact a mirror, then was that in fact my empty eyes, my sallow structure, and my lost expression that confronted me? But then, what happened to the me that I was, if this was indeed the me that I had become… it seemed that through all of the battling, tears, heartbreak, and sleepless nights that I had lost a part of me. It was the new me who had put so much thought into my final fate, it was the damaged me who saw life as something not worth living. The old me would have never thought such horrid thoughts, but again, she was gone and it didn't matter what she would have done. My fate was final, it was written in blood- or, it would be.

"Goodbye." I whispered to my reflection as I turned to the tub. I got in and let out a sob for what I was about to do. I was hurting so many people; my parents, all my friends… but I couldn't live without Edward being mine. I had come to see that he had moved on and I respected that, but I couldn't live with it.

I reached over and grabbed the razor blade that was sitting on the side of the tub. I didn't think about it, if I thought about it, I would chicken out. And my heart couldn't afford for me to chicken out.

Without another thought, I brought the razor to my wrist and pressed down as I slid the tiny piece of metal across the full length of my wrist. I gasped in pain as the blood seeped out. I had to hurry and do my other one before my hand couldn't grasp the razor. Quickly I repeated the action on the other one.

Things were starting to get hazy as I bled out, I watched as the bath water turned crimson.

"I'll always love you." Were my last words as I pulled my head under the water. I could feel myself dying quickly.

EPOV

When I walked in, I froze.

There she was in the tub, sitting in a bath of bloody water.

"No!" I screamed as I ran over to the tub and pulled her head up out of the water.

"Bella! No,no,no!" I cried. I pulled out my phone and called 911.

"911, state your emergency." The operator chimed.

"Please, help! I'm at 11025 Martin way. I came in and in she was in the bathroom, in a tub of bloody water!" I cried.

"Help is on the way, sir!" The lady assured me.

I sobbed as I held her, because I knew it was too late; her skin was ice cold and pale- like a dead pale, I couldn't hear any breathing, and I couldn't hear a heart beat.

She was gone.

The paramedics soon arrived and pulled her onto a gurney, trying to revive her, but after just 5 minutes they turned to me.

"I'm sorry, she's dead." He whispered.

I sobbed harder, it was official. I'd never see that beautiful smile light her face again.

"Is there someone you can call?" The medic asked.

_Oh, no… Alice._

I nodded and pulled out my phone.

"Edward!? Did you find Bella? Is she ok?!"

"Alice, please come to Bella's apartment. Bring Jasper with you." I whispered in a monotone, not answering her question.

"Edward, you're scaring me! What's going on?"

"Just come, Alice." I hung up the phone and hung my head between my knees. I looked up in time to see them rolling out her body as an officer approached me.

"We're going to need to ask questions."

"I don't know anything. She's my ex-girlfriend and I came here to check on her because my sister was worried about not hearing from her. When I got here, it was already too late." My voice lacked any emotion at all. He continued to question me for a minute, before determining that I knew nothing and leaving me be.

"Edward! What's going on? Why are there medi-" My sister ended her question with a scream as she walked into the bathroom. "What's going on!? Where's Bella? What's that?! Answer me Edward!" She yelled at me with frightened hysterics.

"She killed herself."

"No, no, no. you're lying, and it isn't funny! Where is she, Edward?!"

"She slit her wrists and then drowned herself in the tub, that's where I found her." I was being insensitively cavalier about it, but I had no emotion left in my body to give.

"NO!" Alice cried as she fell into my lap. "Why? Why, would she do this?! We were supposed to be together forever! We were going to have a double wedding- I even promised her that Jasper and I wouldn't even make our engagement offical until she was engaged, we were going to raise our kids together, and have those stupid little neighborly bbqs! Why would she ruin all of that?!" Alice sobbed into my shoulder.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked.

"I didn't call him, or anyone else. I was too anxious to get over here." She whimpered. "This is my fault." She suddenly declared.

"What? Alice, this isn't your fault"

"Yes it is! I should have called you sooner. If I had, she could still be alive!" Alice whaled.

Alice stood up, she just couldn't sit still right now. She took a glance at the counter and asked suddenly, "What are these?"

"What are what?" I asked, standing up.

"Theses." She said, holding up 6 letters. "There's one addressed to each of us, and one to her family. She handed me mine and took hers.

I opened the envelope and noticed there was a cd accompanying it, but the letter said _read first_. As I read through the letter, I felt myself being ripped apart with each word, but I kept my face strong. No one would know my pain. After I finished the heart retching letter, I picked up the cd. All that was written was "Play me".

I instantly jumped up and ran over to the boom box on the counter and hit play.

**(pretend Bella wrote this. But it's actually "Everytime" by Britney Spears. Take the tine to read the lyrics, they're very good for my story)**

Notice me, take my hand Why are we, strangers when Our love is strong Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here It's the only way I see clear What have I done You seem to move on easy And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain Please forgive me My weakness caused you pain And this song's my sorry At night I pray That soon your face will fade away And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby

I wanted to sob and brake down as I heard the song; it was her epiphany, her apology, it was her hurt, her pain, …her goodbye. I vaguely noticed Alice hugging me as she cried some more in my arms. I had no idea what Alice's letter said, but it seemed personal- as was mine, so I didn't ask.

After a while, Alice spoke, "We have to call everyone else. We have to be strong now, Edward." She whispered.

I nodded, but I didn't know if that nod was lie or not. I didn't know if I could truly be strong, I could pretend at least, but the indescribable pain still remained.

She was gone. Bella was gone.

My heart screamed in protest; trying to argue that this was all false- it couldn't be true, but my head knew better.

I watched as Alice pulled out her phone, "Jasper, get Rosalie and Emmett. Then come to Bella's apartment. I can't explain now, just come." Her voice had picked up that same monotone that mine had. One of utter pain and numbness.

Soon Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie had arrived.

"Alice! What's going on-" like Alice, Jasper's sentence cut off as he saw the tub- which couldn't be drained because it was "evidence".

Emmett and Rosalie stood at the door way behind him and stared with ashen faces.

"What happened?" Jasper choked out in a frightened, barely audible voice.

Neither Alice nor I could bear to say it again, so we just handed them each there letters.

We watched their faces slip into total pain and horror as they comprehended what these letters were saying. As each person finished there's, no one said a word. Both Rosalie and Alice were sobbing into Jasper and Emmett's arms. The guys looked like they wanted to cry, but were trying to be strong for their loved ones. I felt a stab of pain as I realized that we were here, because I wasn't strong for Bella, I let her fall. To make up for it, I would be strong for all of them. It was my fault that Bella was gone, I should be the one to bare the pain of her deceit. I turned to stare at the tub, I didn't want to look at it, I didn't want took look at Bella's blood that no longer kept her alive, but rotted in a tub. But I couldn't look away. The horror seemed to hypnotize me, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Rosalie standing next to me.

"Don't hold it in." she whispered. "You hurt more then any of us. Just let it out Edward, she's gone."

I looked at Rosalie with my carefully crafted, expressionless face. "I'm fine, this is terrible, of course. But I will be ok." I lied to her through my teeth.

Rosalie looked as if she was about to argue when Emmett spoke, "Come on, let's get out of here. We need to call Bella's family."

I followed them outside, and I knew- I would never walk through that door again. There was nothing left but pain. She was gone.

* * *

**Charlie POV**

_Ring, ring, ring._

I sighed as heaved myself off the couch to go answer the phone, pausing the tv on the way out of the room.

"Chief Swan." I answered.

"Hi Charlie, it's Edward." The voice on the other line greeted me.

_Edward? What is he calling for? Bella said they had broken up…_

"What can I do for you son?"

"Can you meet me?" His voice sounded very bleak and emotionless…_ maybe he nervous about something._

"Meet you? Are you in town?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm at my parent's old house right now… can you come over? I need to talk to you."

_Geez, why does he sound so sad? You'd think someone died…_

"Sure Edward, I'll be there in about 10 minutes." I ended the call and went to grab my shoes out of the closet.

I arrived at the old Cullen place a few minutes later… not either of the Cullen children had been back here since their parents death, I was curious as to what was so important that Edward would come home.

I walked up the path and knocked on the oversized door. Edward answered immediately and ushered me in. The first thing I noticed was that Edward looked awful; he had dark purple marks under his eyes, he was pale, and looked like he was about to topple over. The tension he was letting off was making me uneasy.

"Geez, who died?" I joked, to relieve some of the pressure.

Edwards face slipped into a total grimace of pain, he looked like he was holding back tears.

"Come into the living room with me." He whispered.

Now I was actually feeling nervous, _what is going on?_

I followed him into the living room- which was bigger then the whole bottom floor of my house- and sat in one of the leather chairs.

"Edward, tell me what is going on." I demanded. I was unable to stand this tension any longer.

He stared at me for a moment before taking a deep breath, "It's Bella."

I felt confused… _What about Bella? _"I don't understand Edward, if you're here because you want her back now… I can't help you-"

"No Charlie." He cut me off.

"Then what is it?!" I asked, exasperated.

"Bella… is." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "Bella is… gone Charlie. She's… dead." He whispered in a tortured voice.

I knew I must of heard him wrong, because there is no way that he said my Bella was dead.

"I'm sorry Edward, I misunderstood you… can you repeat that?" I asked politely.

Edward opened his eyes back up and looked into mine, "You have no idea how hard this is for me… the others couldn't bare to do it, so I volunteered, I felt it was my responsibility. Charlie, Bella is dead."

"What?! No, not my baby girl!" I cried, I felt my whole world breaking. My Bella couldn't be gone. _no, no, no…_

"What happened?" I needed all the details, this was too surreal. I was waiting for Edward to slip, to crack and reveal that he was lying to me so that I could shoot him.

"I don't know if you'll want to know this, but I understand that you _have_ to know. Bella, she committed suicide. I found her in her bathroom inside her apartment last night. Alice had sent me to see if she was home because she hadn't heard from Bella and I still had my key. When I got there… I was too late."

_Suicide? Oh he is definitely lying!_

"Liar!" I suddenly roared as I stood.

The boy didn't even flinch at my outburst, it was like he lacked emotion.

"Here, this one is for you. There was one for each of us." He handed me a letter that was addressed _Dad & Mom _in Bella's handwriting. My trembling hands opened the envelope and pulled out a letter.

_Firstly, I love you. Always._

_I'm sorry to be breaking your hearts, for I have committed the most selfish act there is. But I had to do it, I know that you'll never understand and I can't give you my reasons why. Just know that you guys mean everything to me, you were the best parents I could've asked for- even if I had my doses of you separately. I'm also sorry that I never kept in touch with you guys, I was selfish and got caught up in my own life. Only coming to you guys when I needed something was painfully selfish of me_

_Mom; I loved how crazy you were, always throwing yourself into a new hobby and dragging me along with you. You could never finish anything and it used to irritate me to no end, but in retrospect… I love that about you, because it makes you who you are- my crazy, erratic mother. And I'm sorry about the phone call, please don't feel guilty- you were absolutely correct in saying what you said. I didn't respect Edward's feelings and it was my fault he left. I love you, I'm not mad at you- I never was._

_Dad; You were always so over protective of me. Threatening any boys with you gun if they came within a mile of me. But, I don't want you blaming yourself for not protecting me from this fate, there was absolutely nothing you could have done. I'll miss having to drag you away from the sports center on ESPN every night just to get you to eat dinner. _

_I certainly don't expect my sudden departure to be treated with a grand farewell, I most definitely don't deserve it. My only request is that you don't hold my memory in vain, and please, don't hate me._

_Love Always, Isabella._

I was sobbing as I finished reading, I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed. At that moment, it felt as if my world had come to an end.

I looked up at Edward, who was staring at me with a blank face. "Has anyone spoken to Renee?"

Edward merely shook his head in response.

I nodded, "I should be the one to tell her."

* * *

Renee POV

* * *

I was in the middle of attempting this new recipe I has gotten off line, _Chayote Prawn Salad, _to make for dinner. I wasn't the best cook, but this seemed simple enough and I wanted to have dinner done as a surprise for Phil when he got home tonight. He had been gone for 3 weeks to North Carolina for some team training, and I missed him terribly.

I was throwing the romaine lettuce into the bowl and letting my thoughts drift. I thought about my beautiful Bella, I missed her so much, but she refused to speak to me after our last encounter.

_Flashback_

_I was just getting to leave for my yoga class, when the phone rang._

"_Hello, Dwyer residence." I responded merrily._

"_Mom." The soft voice on the other end of the line spoke._

"_Bella? To what do I owe a call from you?" I teased. Hearing from Bella these day was a rarity entirely. She got so wrapped up in college, her friends, and her boyfriend that she had a tendency to forget her family._

"_Mom… I messed up." Listening to Bella, I could tell her voice had an edge that it didn't usually have… it held pain._

"_Bella, what's wrong?" Concern immediately replacing my earlier teasing tone._

"_He's gone, and it's all my fault." She sniffed._

"_What? Tell me what happened, who's gone?"_

"_Edward." She barely whispered his name. "It's just a big mess mom. He told me that if I walked out the door that it was over. But I didn't think it was serious! I just didn't have time for a discussion, I had to go!" She sobbed._

"_Okay Bella, please slow down and tell me what on earth happened!"_

"_We were at our apartment and I was getting ready to meet with a friend, Jacob, to discuss a project we were working on in Biology together. When Edward said that he needed to speak with me. I told him that it would have to wait because I was running late. And he told me that it was really important and that he wanted to speak now, that our discussion was more important then meeting with my friend. I was just getting annoyed because I was late and told him that this would be quick and I'd be back. He looked at me and said, 'decide what's more important Bella… if you leave, I wont be here when you get back.' I didn't believe he was serious, so I left…" She finished up, choking on her sobs._

_I sighed, Bella was never one to be reasonable and take things seriously until it was too late- it was, unfortunately, a trait she had inherited from me._

"_Bella. What do you want me to tell you? You decided that a discussion with your friend was more important then whatever Edward was trying to tell you. I love you, but that was the wrong decision."_

_Bella had instantly become defensive, "Don't you think I know that?! I called you for support not for you to throw my mistakes in my face!"_

"_Bella, I will always support you and be there for you. But I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that what you did was ok." I tried to get her to understand._

"_You know what, I don't even know why I called! Since when are you dependable to be relied on?" She snapped and hung up the phone._

I sighed, recalling the memory. I had tried calling Bella back several times but she never answered or returned my calls. I was pulled out of my thoughts when there was a knock on the front door. I grabbed a towel to wipe off my hands and made my way to the door. I was expecting it to be Sherry, my new neighbor who had offered to stop by and help me prepare for Phil's return. I was shocked when I opened the door and it wasn't Sherry standing on my front porch.

"Charlie? What are you doing here? Is Everything alright?" Charlie looked down right awful; his skin had paled, his eyes were sunken in accompanied by purple bruises, and has face held a look of complete torture.

"Can I come in?" He asked in a dead whisper.

"Of course, please come in!" I ushered him into the living room and offered him a seat on the sofa. "Now, what is going on? Why are you here?" I pressed.

Charlie took in a deep sigh and lifted his from it's position of staring at the carpet to staring into my eyes. He was quiet for a moment, just staring, before his face finally crumpled and he started sobbing.

I hadn't seen Charlie in years, but I knew he was a strong, reserved man- showing emotion was not something he did. His tears and sobs immediately alarmed me.

"Charlie! What's going on?!" I was racking my brain for anything that could be wrong, when suddenly realization hit me like a ton of bricks. _Something that would break Charlie, Something that would cause him to fly all the way across the country to tell me… Bella._

"Charlie, is Bella ok?" My voice was strained to make it out of my throat.

He looked back up at me with his tear streaked face.

"I'm sorry, Renee. But Bella is… is gone." He choked out.

I felt as if I had just been slapped in the face. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. Slowly, I began to comprehend the words _Bella is gone._

"Gone? Gone where?" I asked, hoping that he hadn't meant it the way I thought he meant it.

He looked at me, unable to say a word, but confirming what I was praying was untrue. _Bella's dead._

I collapsed to the floor and started bawling mercilessly; my body shaking in convulsions with my grief.

My daughter was gone, and the last conversation we had was me telling her that it was her fault that Edward left her. And now I could never reconcile our relationship, I could never apologize.

"How?" My one word was enough for Charlie to understand what I was asking.

Instead of answering me, he reached into his pocket and handed me a folded up piece of paper. I unfolded the paper and came upon a letter.

As I read through the letter, I felt my heart being ripped into pieces. My Bella had committed… suicide.

"No. NO! Tell me you're lying! Tell me that you have some sick sense of humor!" I turned, screaming at my ex-husband.

Charlie stood and wrapped his arms around me, resisting my punches that I threw against his chest. Finally I collapsed against him in a fit of sobs. It felt like my whole word was gone, no, it didn't _feel _like it… that's exactly what it was; Bella was my world and she was gone.

"What are we going to do?" My throat was now raw and the words were barely audible.

"We're going to lean on each other for strength, we're going to fly back to Washington and help Alice plan Bella's funeral, and we're going to try and be brave and not let Bella's memory rest in vain." He whispered in my ear.

Suddenly Phil walked in, "Renee, I'm home- oh! Charlie, what are you doing here?" Phil asked with a smile. Then he noticed our embrace and the looks on or faces.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

* * *

**EPOV**

* * *

Tanya and I pulled up to Bella's funeral in a rental car, she had insisted on coming for emotional support- though she really didn't belong here, she neither really knew nor cared about Bella. The funeral was being held at a beach on Washington State coast called "Kalaloch", it was Bella's favorite place in the world. She always used to make sure we would all take a trip there every summer. I fought back the urge to cry when thoughts of our trip here last summer berated my mind. All of us were so happy together, not knowing that the next time we would see this beach would be for Bella's funeral.

As we walked down the slate path that Alice had laid out down the beach, I looked around to see who else was there. I felt myself break a little more as I saw all the people gathered together morning the loss of someone so special. Nobody understood why Bella had done this, no one ever saw it coming. Though, I too never saw it coming, I did know why; it was all my fault.

I spoke not one word as I continued down the path towards Bella, though I vaguely heard Tanya say something about getting us a couple seats. I paused when I was a few feet away from her, trying the work up the courage to take those last few steps. After a minute of self-confliction, I took one big breath and determinedly closed in on the those last ten feet.

I stood there, staring at the casket. How did we ever wind up like this? We were two stubborn people who wouldn't give into each other… that's how it always was. I never dreamed that she'd truly give up.

My thoughts drifted to the note she had left…

_Dear Edward,_

_I understand. I was selfish, and careless. You were upset and hurt. This whole situation was my fault, all I ever wanted to do was fix it. It seems that instead of fixing it, I made everything worse- I went about it all the wrong way. So I can't blame you for choosing to move on, but I meant what I said when I told you that I couldn't live without you in my arms. This situation seems unfixable and so I must do what's best for me. I hope you can understand; I do love you and I'm sorry for what I put you through, but living in this world when you're not mine is simply not an option. I hope to see you again one day. Goodbye._

_Love Always, Isabella._

_P.S. I never did know what you wanted to speak to me about… I guess it's too late now._

Every word was burned into my mind, I must have read that note over a hundred times and I still couldn't bring myself to believe this was real. I wanted to believe that this was just another one of her stupid stunts that would inevitably bring us into a fight, but of course that wasn't the case this time. She was gone. Those three words had been constantly pounding through my head since that night I found her, like a steady heart beat in my head.

Her final words continued to race through my mind; _I can't blame you for choosing to move on._ How wrong she had been… I hadn't moved on, not even a little. I was just stubborn, we both were. That had been, undeniably, one of our problems. I didn't love Tanya, the only person I had ever loved was Bella. She was right, we had both gotten ourselves in too deep- there was no denying that we were both incredibly stupid. She saw me as the better and smarter person, but that was another thing that she was wrong about. That note she wrote said it all…she saw the truth and flaws in what we were doing. If she had just said those words to me without killing herself, I would have understood- I would have listened. Of course maybe that's not true either, maybe she had been trying to say those words that night. The night that I told her that I'd had enough, that we would never be together. Just another record of my stupidity, how I could ever believe that we could exist without the other was beyond me.

It all seemed so clear to me right then. Of course, my epiphany was worthless now. Isabella was… _dead,_ I choked on the thought. It was so easy to see the logic, now that it was too late. Why couldn't I have seen it when we still had a shot?

The answer was actually simpler then most might think… I always thought she'd just fight harder. I was so selfish; I didn't want Isabella at that moment because I was so damn pissed at her- I had just wanted her to listen to me instead of meeting with Jacob, but I had always figured she'd be there waiting when I was ready to forgive her. That was my mistake right there. To assume that she'd just accept me being with someone else and wait for me to stop being so childish over one little mistake she made.

A mistake she had even tried to make up for, at first. She had begged, cried, and pleaded with me- but I just rebuffed her. Then she had gone into all of those crazy more drastic attempts to make me come back. In retrospect, I had enjoyed watching her be so ridiculous just to win me back- but at the time, I was just so furious with her. I realized now, that I was punishing her. I never truly planned to move on, not deep down. No matter what I told her or myself, Bella and I were meant to be together.

"Are you going to come sit down?" A voice spoke into my ear, Tanya.

"Yeah, I'll be right there. Just give me a second." I whispered.

A lie.

In a way, I felt bad for Tanya… she was just an innocent bystander who got dragged into an idiot's tragic love story. But she'd be ok, we weren't in love and she would survive without me.

But just as Bella had pointed out that she couldn't live without me in her arms, I realized that I felt the same way. We were in love and there truly wasn't an Edward without a Bella.

I reached into my pocket, I could feel the cool medal of the handle just resting in my hand. In my other pocket was my own note and the box. I pulled out the note and box first, before discretely placing the gun to my heart. I took on last breath, "I'll see you soon." I whispered to her and pulled the trigger.

* * *

**JPOV**

* * *

I whirled around as I heard the sound of a gun shot and screaming. I froze in horror when I found the source of the shot; laying over Bella's coffin was Edward, with a puddle of blood soaking into the sand beneath his feet.

_No. _This couldn't be happening, first Bella and now Edward? _NO!_

My brain shut down and went to autopilot when I spotted Alice standing next to her brother screaming for someone to call 911. I ran over to her and pulled her into my arms, turning her eyes from the horrorific scene in front of us.

"No, no, no, no." Alice chanted over and over again.

I did the only thing I could do; I held her to my chest as I watched the insanity unfold around me. Everywhere people were standing around in shock, everyone of them unsure what to do. I noticed Charlie holding Rene as I was holding Alice, the pain was clearly written across his face but he was trying to be strong for his ex-wife (Phil was standing next to her- just staring). Edward had been a son to them- he had been with Bella for so long, and their relationship had grown stronger especially after Carlisle and Esme had died- not even his and Bella's break-up could've turned them against him completely.

Soon the medics pulled up and rushed over to Edward, but there was nothing to be done. He had shot himself in the heart and died instantly. I watched, but still held Alice to my chest- refusing to let her watch- as the pulled Edward's body into a body bag and took him to the nearest hospital for an autopsy.

Suddenly, Alice spoke in a emotionless whisper "We need to go there, I'm the closest immediate family he had… it's my job."

"Alice, I don't know if-" I started to tell her that I wasn't sure if she should, when she cut me off.

"No, Jasper. I need to do this, it has to be done. Now take me to the hospital." I didn't question her again as the demanding tone she used hung in the air.

I nodded and pulled her to my car, because I knew it was pointless to argue with her. But, I also knew that this wasn't going to be anywhere near as easy as she was trying to make it out to be. Two people we loved were now dead, and it was even worse for Alice as she had just lost her best friend and her twin brother.

I sighed, as I imagined the pain that was still to come.

* * *

**APOV**

We all stood there; me, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Bella's family, and Tanya.

No one said a word as we watched them get lowered into the ground. The silence was deafening- if that even makes sense. No one could believed what had happened, it was all so surreal. It was heartbreaking enough to sit there at Bella's funeral, having to deal with the fact that my best friend had taken her own life. The day Edward told me to come to Bella's apartment, was the beginning of my world crashing down. The note she wrote me replayed in my head;

_Alice,_

_I'm sorry to cause you so much pain, as I know you are hurting right now. All of those promises we made together and I broke everyone of them. But those promises weren't able to be kept when they didn't involve Edward. I know I screwed so much up for you, I am- I was a rotten best friend for doing this to you, but I had no other exit. There was no light at the end of my tunnel when there was no Edward there. Please don't remember me for the mistakes I made… remember me for obnoxious makeovers, silly sleepovers, college roommates, double dates, and late night phone calls. You __**are**__ my best friend, even now. And I will wait for you to come join me, wherever I am. I'm positive that we will see each other again someday. Until then; I love you. I'm sorry. Goodbye._

_Love you Always, Isabella_

Her words were painful, her death was damaging to us all. Of course it hit Edward the worst, but he put on his strong face so well, I guess that no one had thought to check beneath the mask, or he was just a very good liar. Either way, not one person could have guessed what he was planning to do at Bella's funeral until it was too late.

The note was found at the morgue, along with the box- one of the doctors called me back because they had found something. When I got back there, the doctor handed me a blood spattered piece of paper and a small blue velvet box. I had choked back a sob as I looked at the note my brother had left.

_Bury me with her. We belong together… forever._

_P.S. In the box is what was so important that day… can you put it on her? I know she would have said yes._

I fell to the floor in endless sobs when I saw the note. Someone must have called Jasper back, because I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me to my feet. I must have cried in his chest for hours, but I eventually ran out of tears and pulled myself together. I had things that had to be done.

When I had finally gathered some control, I had looked into the box… it was an engagement ring. At that moment it had all come together; Edward's pain, his stubbornness to forgive Bella. He was going to propose that day. _Oh Edward…_

First, I had called the funeral parlor and asked if they could put off burying Bella's body for a couple more days so that we could add Edward to the casket and asked them to place the ring on Bella's ring finger. Then I had the job of calling all of our friends and family. I had been sitting in the living room, calling more places to set up the funeral, when someone knocked at the door.

It had been another neighbor offering a food dish as condolences- why people think food is helpful when your best friend and brother kill themselves, I don't know. But I put on a happy face and took the plate. I was about half-way to the kitchen when I just snapped. I threw the plate against the wall- shattering it- and just started screaming. I was angry at them for putting me and everyone else through this pain. How could they do this? Why did they have to tear apart everything and leave me to clean up the mess? They were the two most selfish and stubborn people in the world, and of course that had been their downfall. I had put all of that anger away for today though, because they were gone and today was the day to honor who they were, not yell at them for their mistakes.

I was broken out of my thought by a sobbing Tanya, "Why would he do this? Why did she have to do this to him?" Silent tears rolled down her face.

I looked at her and said, "There is no logic to what they did. They were just two stupid people who fought to make each others lives more difficult as they pushed each other away, but when they finally succeeded… they couldn't live without the other."

"He never really wanted me, he always loved her." She didn't question it, she knew that Edward and Bella's love for each other was infallible. "I guess not all couples can have their happy endings."

"Life isn't always the happy ending, sometimes the happy ending is the escape." I spoke solemnly.


	2. How about a story?

I really want this to be a story instead of a one shot! But idk when I will actually get to it! But I promise when that changes you will be the first to know!


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